How Do I Tell Them?
Now that you’re pregnant, you are probably feeling a variety of emotions. Scared, worried, sad, angry, fearful, ashamed, and guilty are just a few, and perhaps you even feel curious and excited. Whatever you are feeling, know that you are not alone and that your feelings are valid. After the initial shock of finding out that you are having a baby, your next thoughts are probably, "How do I tell the important people in my life?" In most cases, one of the first important people to tell is one or both of your parents. This can be an extremely scary task, but be comforted by the fact that almost all parents come around and love their grandchildren, no matter what the circumstances.

You have probably imagined all of the possible scenarios and they are probably pretty intense in your mind. For example, you may see your Mom weeping, your Dad refuses to talk to you and storms out of the house, your brother is ashamed of you and threatens to kill the father of the baby, your friends abandon you and guys at school call you names, and in your worst thoughts; your church says you are not welcome and your grandmother states that you are no longer a part of the family. Please know that while some of these scenarios may occur, the chances are slim, and in most cases; loved ones change their minds after they get over the initial shock and initial feelings; some of the same feelings that you had when you found out.

You know your family and friends better than anyone. With that knowledge, the best thing to do is prepare in advance the best way to tell them. Some possible ways of telling them that you are pregnant are:

·  Pick someone older, someone you respect, love, and trust to help you tell your parents. This person could be an aunt, pastor, or neighbor that can help ease the shock of the news.

·  If you are too nervous to talk to your parents in person, write a letter explaining your pregnancy. A good way to start the letter might be, "Dear Mom and Dad, I love you and I know you love me. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I am pregnant…"

·  If your boyfriend is in the picture, he may also want to discuss the news with your parents and with his parents as well. You both could present a united front and present some of your plans and thoughts together.

·  If you feel like you are unable to use these methods, know that A Safe Harbor has trained staff who want to listen and who could help you decide how best to tell your parents. You could even practice your "speech" on them to become comfortable talking about it. We welcome the opportunity to talk to your parents with you, if they are willing to accompany you to A Safe Harbor Pregnancy Resource Center.

What Do I Do Now?
As you are thinking about telling your parents, or if you already have, a whole new area of questions will be on everyone’s mind. Be prepared that everyone will offer their opinions and advice, and that some suggestions may be very different from what you had in mind. It is good to listen to others’ input, but ultimately, you need to make your own decisions. As you try to decide what to do, make lists of pros and cons about each situation. Find people who can support you in the different decisions that you will have to make. Although you are probably overwhelmed, many women have made the same decisions and are successful mothers with successful careers, education, and happy lives. You can be happy as a mom too. Just take the decision making process one step at a time. Some important things to think about are:

Where Will I Live?
Are my parents willing to help support me during and after my pregnancy? Can I stay in their house and be supported? Will this pregnancy bring us closer as a family or cause problems?
Is there a friend, neighbor, church member or relative that I could stay with while I’m pregnant to make relationships easier with my family? For girls who have no other place to go while they are pregnant, For girls who have no other place to go while they are pregnant, A Safe Harbor Pregnancy Resource Center offers housing referrals, as well as other information and assistance for you and your baby.

What About School?
In the Central Florida area, public schools will allow you to attend classes as usual up to around seven months. The school nurses and school counselors will assist you with this process and possibly offer tutoring while you are at home. Any portion of the year that you miss can always be made up.

Do You Want To Be A Single Parent?

The task of raising a child alone can be very overwhelming, although more and more women are able to accomplish this. If you choose to parent, know that you are not alone. Many books have been written to help you learn more about how to manage this opportunity. There are many support groups with other single moms who can help give advice and be a comforting friend when you need someone to listen. Talking to other single moms can be a huge help in knowing that someone has been in your position before. A Safe Harbor Pregnancy Resource Center has book lists, classes and mentoring available for your use to help in this area.

Do You Plan To Marry?

If you and the father of the baby are considering marriage, be sure that you talk with a counselor and seek premarital counseling. Remember that many teen marriages end in divorce so you want to make this decision wisely. There are also many teen marriages that work. The husband and wife stay married and have a very happy family. Marriage is a special union and only you two know if this is a good option. If you do not choose marriage, it is good to decide how you will both be involved with caring for the baby. Arrangements through the court system or private agreements should be made so that the father of the baby can help in raising the child.

Have You Considered Adoption?
Considering adoption may be a hard decision to think about. Certainly, the father of the baby and both sets of parents should be part of the decision-making process for this alternative. Deciding to allow your baby to be adopted is a mature decision with the best interest of the child first. Please see our "Parenting Options" link to gain more information about this process. It may be different than you think!

With so many decisions to consider, please remember that you are not alone. Begin determining which people in your life are willing to help support you in this process. Always keep in mind that the staff and volunteers of A Safe Harbor Pregnancy Resource Center are ready to help you with every aspect of your pregnancy. There are now two lives to consider, and we want your pregnancy to be a special time for you and your baby. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any concerns or questions.